No Donor

I
spent
the
morning
with
a
pretty
girl
with
big
beautiful
eyes
her
scooped
neck
t-shirt
revealed
a
thin
vertical
scar
running
down
her
chest
a
scar
reminding
me
of
her
open
heart
surgeries
she
had
wires
running
from
her
chest
she
was
tethered
to
a
monitor
and
an
intravenous
drip
I
wonder
if
she
will
survive
the
heart
transplant
so
young
so
beautiful
so
fragile
just
three
years
old
suddenly
my
own
pain
is
unleashed
a
previous
unasked
question
ambushes
me
why did Nathan die as he did?
why
did
he
die
in
a
way
that
made
it
impossible
to
give
another
child
life
deliver
another
family
from
the
misery
sorrow
anguish
which
we
endure
daily
God
why
was
he
not
allowed
to
give
his
heart
his
liver
his
kidneys
to
another
to
others
it
would
have
been
easy
to
bring
immediate
good
out
of
his
awful
death
to
literally
bring
life
for
others
replace
their
parent’s
despair
with
joy
Why not, God?
it
would
have
been
so
easy
it
would
have
brought
us
a
sense
of
good
given
us
something
to
hang
on
to
Why God, was it not so?